I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
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"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.