her vagine was all disorganized.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
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Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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