in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Boobs are out for the taking
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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