I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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