he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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