i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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