that's an acceptable place to lick
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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