"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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