We won't sleep together?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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