apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
