yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
