Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
