billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
