That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
