He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
