I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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