I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
