Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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