Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
