dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
