She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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