A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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