We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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