He had one of those small greek statue penises
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You are the jesus of drinking
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
