If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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