Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
