I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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