So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
