Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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