ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
it hurts more in the daytime
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
