I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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