We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wish there were birth control emojis
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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