She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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