i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
