I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
