if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
