it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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