he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
