Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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