Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
