how can u be prego again
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
