Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
