that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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