i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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