thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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