you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
