i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
