***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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