At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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