Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
