I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
