remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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