make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
