never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
