I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize