M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize