four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
