I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
