okay pat passed out under dana's car
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
