My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She's like a pop up book from hell.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
