Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize