I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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