You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
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I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
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Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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