Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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