you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
