I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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