so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
