I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
